The following email was sent from a friend, January, yesterday. It completely cracked me up, and I just had to share it."So this morning i came out my house, tryin' to get to
work so i can make that dollar and there was red
squirrel (a.k.a lil red), on my front step. he ran
over to the other side of the walk when he saw me, but
stared me down. i went about my bidness and kinda
ignored him. i realized i forgot somethin' upstairs,
so i went back to get it and when i came down, there
he was again on my stoop.
I said "what's up lil red?" as he took his position
back on the other side of the walk. i turned towards
my bike and i could feel his stare. when i looked
over, he was right behind me, trying to do a sneak
attack. i turned and tried to seem tough. i said
"look lil red, i don't know what you heard but i
didn't say nothin bout yo mama, see? i got no beef
wit chew and i'm just trying to go about my bidness.
you didn't hear this from me red, but word on the
street is that stray cat has been runnin his mouth
bout your moms, so why don't you talk to him?" i
could tell by his stony silence and intense stare that
he was tryin to see if i was bein honest, so i brought
real.
I said" look lil red, i got enough troubles. stray
cat has me payin him for "protection" every week and
it don't come cheap. i got to feed him and all his
stray goons every night. thay don't want the jewel
brand cat food either, i got to feed the organic pet
promise brand. imagine that! feedin them the same as
i feed my own! they gonna run me outta house and
home, but i gotta do it - what choice do i have?"
"so you see red, i'm not about to try to have problems
with someone else. so you just move on and leave me in
peace."
i thought i had made myself clear, but he moved in
again. i knew i had to do something, even if what is
was wasn't pretty...
...so i took my keys off my bag and SHOOK THEM AS LOUD
AS I COULD IN HIS GENERAL DIRECTION!!! he ran up in a
nearby tree.
i got on my bike and pedalled outta there as fast as
i could! i took one look back and saw him staring at
me. i knew it wasn't over. in fact, it had just
begun...
that's the way of the street though...
ps - this is based on a true story!"
Thanks to you Ms January, for the most amusing story of the week!
